Surviving Single: “It’ll Happen When You Least Expect It”

If I had a penny for every time someone tried to console my single woes by saying, “It’ll happen when you least expect it” I would be a very wealthy woman. I’m not talking comfortable wealthy, I’m talking ‘own a fortune 500 and have my own island’ wealthy. So understandably that saying is one of my least favorite things to hear.

I fully understand that when people tell me that I will meet someone when I least expect it they are trying to make me feel better, but actually it does the exact opposite. What I hear are women (or occasionally men) who have found their someone making light of how incredibly annoying it is to be single when everyone around you has found someone. The statement comes across as a brush off of a single girls concerns, and it is easy for someone on the other side to say now that they no longer have those same worries.

I suppose some that read this could easily say that the solution is to stop mentioning anything about how I feel like I will die alone with only knitting needles and cats for company. That may very well be a good solution. However, I would post this question: if you can’t express your worries to your closest friends and family then who do you talk to?

Others might say that single girls should be lucky to have such a fabulous single life, but those people are delusional as to what it is like to actually be a single 20-30 something these days. Contrary to what I thought my single life would be like, it is not an episode of Sex in the City. While I can’t speak for all single girls everywhere, but I for sure don’t go out several times a week for cosmos, nor do I get asked out on dates on a regular basis, and almost all of my close friends that live in the DFW metroplex are either married, engaged, or about to be engaged.

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I have also had people tell me that instead of worrying about being alone I should get out and do something about it. I would like to add that they have usually said this following the advice that I will meet someone when I least expect it. And, while I understand that both of these pieces of contradictory advice are meant to help I only feel more frustrated. I can’t very well do something about being single while simultaneously not expecting something to happen.

The thing that I think a lot of people don’t understand is that us single girls know that all of the things they tell us are probably true. It probably will happen when we least expect it, and we probably should put ourselves out there more or enjoy our time being single. However, the fact that this advice is poignant doesn’t make it any easier to watch our friends fall in love, get married, and start having families. It is impossible to see all of this happen and not want what they have. What’s that thing about grass that people always say?

Basically, we single girls know all the advice, and we’ve heard all the sayings meant to soothe our downtrodden spirits. Really when we complain about being alone or single we don’t want advice or a cliche. What we want is for someone to say, “I know, it sucks. Want to get a margarita?”

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