Surviving Single: He Who Must Not Be Named
We all have one. That one guy who broke your heart so bad, you wondered if you would ever recover. Your friends always hated him, and cringe every time you speak his name. So out of respect for your friends you’ve started referring to him as He Who Must Not Be Named, and, truthfully, dating Voldemort might have been less painful.
The sucky thing about being single is that, with no current distraction or the possibility of a distraction, it’s so easy to fall into old habits. Unfortunately, HWMNBN is the habit we usually fall into, which always ends badly. The good news is that you aren’t alone. Like I said, we all have one. Sometimes I think knowing that I’m not alone makes certain things much easier. Although, if I’m in the middle of a vent I definitely don’t want anyone to tell me they know how I feel. Ugh, isn’t that the worst? Someone says that and I know they know how I feel, but I don’t feel like they know. I feel like I’m experiencing a pain that has never been felt before, but back to the actual topic.
We’ve all heard those famous words, “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife”. Well I am here to tell Jane Austen she got it wrong. The only truth that should be universally acknowledged is that the man you want to go away forever will always return and usually at the most inopportune times (I’m looking at you, Mr. Wickham). The thing about HWMNBN is that he is different for everyone. Your HWMNBN might be her Prince Charming and her HWMNBN might be your Prince Charming. HWMNBN is not a specific type of person, he is just the specific person that shredded your heart. He isn’t necessarily a bad guy and the worst part is that you will always care about him. So, when he pops up out of the blue with a “How are you?” text, and your heart immediately starts racing, and you turn into a mushy 14-year-old, stay strong! If you’ve moved on and are in a great relationship these feelings are easier to ignore, but when you are single you feel your heart ripping open all over again.
Being single can be great! Having the freedom to eat Cap’n Crunch in your underwear on your sofa is a wonderful thing, but there are very few people who want to be single forever. I sure don’t. Granted I mostly want to find someone to take care of my car when it breaks and to test my pies when I finally decide to learn how to bake them, but I still don’t want to be single forever – which makes it even harder to resist with HWMNBN comes a callin’. But, ladies, I am here to tell you that if we do anything in our lives we need to do this one thing: Don’t fall back into the HWMNBN pattern. I’m with you; in fact, half the reason I’m writing this post is because I need this advice more than anyone else. Like I said, HWMNBN is not a bad guy, but giving in will only lead to more heartbreak. My mother always tells me that I can’t have a future if I’m always trying to relive or figure out the past. And as much as I hate to admit it, she’s right! So next time you find yourself picking up the phone and finding that missed call or text from HWMNBN just delete it and remember that as much as you loved wearing spandex biker-shorts under your wind-shorts, yoga pants are so much more comfortable!