Surviving Single: 5 Things I Don’t Like About Online Dating
There will probably be several posts about online dating, as it is something that I have attempted and something I find fascinating. However, today I am just going to share with you five things that I flat out don’t like about online dating. Keep in mind that when I tried online dating I was so stressed out that my eye twitched until I stopped. Yeah, online dating and I did not go over well.
1. Online Dating is Senseless
I don’t mean that online dating is foolish, I mean that you are literally dating without your senses. So much of how we interact with people involves our senses. How does someone look, do they smell good, is their handshake firm, or what does their voice sound like? These are all things that we subconsciously consider through our senses.
*Sidenote: I didn’t include taste because I really hope that you aren’t tasting people when you meet them but I’m not going to judge.
When you are dating online you are relying heavily on the things that someone says, or rather types, to you. This is something that probably doesn’t bother most people, but it drove me nuts. In fact, this may be something that people prefer because it allows you to express yourself without having to worry about other things like whether or not your mascara is running.
2. Building An Online Profile is Painful
Look, I am a crazy person on paper. I mean I might be crazy in person too, but on paper I am definitely overwhelming. I have two random degrees, approximately 9,000 interests, and I spend the majority of my time throwing my thoughts on a blog for all the world to see. If I was a guy I would look at my profile and leave it as soon as possible.
Trying to find a balance between showing enough of yourself to seem interesting and hiding the fact that you might be a little too interesting is not easy. People with anxiety will understand why this process is cause for concern.
3. You Have to Have A Lot of Trust in a Person You’ve Never Met
To question whether I have trust issues is to question if the sky is blue. As I previously mentioned, I am a person who relies heavily on my senses and without them I feel lost. Taking it even further, though, is that on the internet you could be anything. I mean for all you know I am a 45 year-old man who found some random pictures of a 20-something girl and started 3 blogs that I write pretending to be that 20-something girl (I’m not, and I seriously doubt that if I was I would claim to be someone who has my uncontrollable hair). Think about it though, if I could be someone I’m not then the cute guy that is a whatever percent match could be someone completely different.
4. You Have to Go on a First Date Twice
So you’ve gone through the process of getting to know someone and then you decide to meet. Well now you basically have to go through the whole process again. Sure you know things about each other because you have corresponded, but you haven’t actually met so the slate is pretty much wiped clean. All the fretting you did when you first started chatting doesn’t count because when you finally decide to meet you have to start fretting all over again. Only this time you have something established so there is marginally more room for disappointment. Will he be upset by how I look in person? What if he sounds like a chipmunk, or what if he thinks I sound like a chipmunk? He seems so sweet, but I won’t be able to handle it if he bites his fork.
Basically, you’ve just spent a fair amount of time building something that could be torn down in one minute. That is stressful.
5. It’s Just Flat Out Stressful
I’ve pretty much been saying this the whole time, but I thought that this point needed its own number for no other reason than to reinforce why I was unable to continue with online dating. I am a highly anxious person that worries about and over-analyzes everything. If these are things you don’t have to deal with then you will be fine with online dating. However, if you are unfortunate enough to also suffer these traits then you are probably feeling stressed by simply reading this list. I tried to make online dating work, but it just wasn’t for me. I know that I one hundred percent created the stress that I associate with it, but I also know that at this time in my life I am not going to be able to not create that stress so it is better that I focus on other things.
Do you have any thoughts on online dating? I always love hearing crazy online dating stories, so please share if you have some!