Six Types of Dating App Profiles

I’ve written about online dating before. Although, my previous post was about online dating in general and this post is specific to dating apps. Even more specifically the type of dating app profiles I’ve come across far too many times.

Look, using dating apps is already stressful. You have to constantly think about several things:

  • Is this a real person or am I being Catfished?
  • Does this person want a hook up or a relationship?
  • What if I read this whole interaction wrong?
  • How long is too long to wait to message first?
  • Why isn’t anyone messaging me first?
  • Is there a guy on here that isn’t going to send me lewd messages right off the bat?
  • WHAT DID THAT SMILEY FACE MEAN?!?!?!

Yeah, using dating apps is stressful (well, it is stressful for my anxiety-ridden self). What doesn’t help with the stress of using dating apps is some of the profiles that you come across in your search for a match. Here is my theory, you get x amount of characters to let me know enough about you to make a decision on whether or not I even want to talk to you. Don’t waste those characters. I have taken the liberty of making examples of the six most common types of profiles I have personally come across while using a variety of dating apps. Hopefully, I’m not the only person who has noticed these profile trends.

 

dating app profiles - lister - shawn spencer

The Lister

A random list of things seems a little lazy. Of course, this is not the case if you are using an app like Coffee Meets Bagel that asks you to list dislikes and likes, but then at least you know what the list is about. Shawn’s list above is just a list. I wouldn’t know if it is a list of likes, dislikes, trivia answers, or his recent Google search history. This leaves way too much room for interpretation which is beneficial to no one.

For example, say someone sees ‘pineapples’ and assumes that this is a list of things that you dislike because they are a pessimist and that is where their mind automatically goes. Well, they are allergic to pineapple and think, ‘OMG! A person who hates pineapple. Perfect!” You both swipe right, and they send you a message that simply says, “Pineapple, amiright!”. You reply with, “Yaaaassss! I Love Pineapple! Pineapple 4 Life!”…crickets. Next thing you know, you’re flipping through Tinder Nightmares on Instagram and there is your conversation with the caption, “Way to be insensitive to someone’s deadly allergy!”

I know that this is a little far-fetched, but something like this could and probably has happened. If you are a Lister or are considering becoming a Lister, at least start the list off with a simple ‘Likes’ or ‘Current Twitter Trends’ so that whoever is reading your profile knows what types of things you think are important enough to list in your limited amount of space.

 

dating-app-profiles-job-applicant-harry-potter

 

The Job Applicant

Every time I run across one of these profiles I hope that we are a match so that I can tell them about Linkedin. Really, Job Applicants, you are on a dating app not a job interview. Take Harry for example, it is great that he was once employed as The Chosen One, but wouldn’t it be more interesting to know that he enjoys eating chocolate frogs and visiting his friend Hagrid? All the above profile tells me is that a relationship would always take a backseat to their career, or that there will be zero room for spontaneity in the relationship. Are these things true about Harry? Probably not, but how would a potential date know that?

 

dating app profiles - traveler - doctor who_edited-1

The Traveler

The Traveler is very similar to The Lister, only their list is of all the places they have either visited or lived. It is one thing to say, “I’m a Texan living in California”, but it is an entirely different thing to only list a ton of cities or countries. I look at these profiles and think, ‘well this person is either in the military, was a military brat, or constantly on the road’. There is nothing wrong with any of those things, but they don’t really tell anyone anything about you. Again, vague information can lead to confusion and assumptions.

Rather than listing out all of the places you’ve been or lived, maybe just say something like, “I’ve visited [number] of countries” or “I’ve lived in [number] of cities”. This not only frees up some room for more information you can give your potential match, it also provides a good ice breaker for when you are matched.

 

dating app profiles - Mysterious- peter parker

The “I’m Mysterious” One

Okay fellas, I know that when you join a dating app you are thinking like a guy and from what I’ve been told guys don’t really think about filling in profiles the same way women think about filling in profiles. You know that old saying about how people do what they most want done? That is how women approach profiles; we fill them out relatively thoroughly because in return we want to read filled out profiles. A blank profile, for me at least, says that you are either only looking for a one-time hook-up or you’re not a real person, and my personal experience with dating apps backs up this judgement.

I once had a friend tell me that dating apps were all hype because they never got any matches. When they showed me their profile, the ‘About’ section was blank. I informed them that if they wanted any matches they needed to put something about themselves on their profile. I don’t know if they ever did, but the point is that if you are seriously looking for a date and not just a random hook-up you need to share a few words about yourself.

 

dating app profiles - quoter - Mozzie

The Quoter

I love a good quote as much as the next person. In fact, my desktop background usually has a famous quote on it, but my desktop background is not trying to tell anyone who I am or what I have to offer as a partner. Thus, I have one thought when it comes to profiles that display only a quote:

“[A] quotation is a handy thing to have about, saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself, always a laborious business.” –A.A. Milne, If I May

 

dating app profiles - lister - shaggy

The Emoji King

Let me be super basic for a moment and just say, “I can’t even with this”. There are a lot of things that I can look past when reading online dating profiles, but excessive use of emojis is not one of those things. I know that not everyone creates dating app profiles to look for a relationship, but even if you are looking for a random hook-up you should probably want potential hook-ups to know that you are actually the age next to your name.

Speaking strictly with emojis should only be done by persons who don’t yet have a full understanding of the language in which they are trying to communicate. That means either children or someone trying to communicate with people in a foreign language. If you are the former you need to get the heck off of whatever app you’re on, and if you are the latter you should indicate that you only know [insert language].

Here is the philosophy I apply to emojis (it is actually a philosophy I try to also apply to cursing as well, try being the operative word): Emojis should be used only in times when written words cannot fully express the emotion that you are trying to convey.

 

*Bonus Content*

Dating App Profile Example To Attract Someone Who Doesn’t Suffer From General Anxiety Disorder

dating app profiles - Fitzwilliam Darcy

You’ve got a limited amount of space, but you can still take advantage of that space. Give your potential dates information that will let them know what kind of person you are. Include a fun fact, a few things you like to do, maybe include only what your current job is, and it’s probably good to at least state where you live. Since many dating profile apps are location based it is good to let your potential date know where you call home. One other recommendation I can make is to not use “cliche” likes. Everyone likes hanging out with friends, good conversation, and traveling. You don’t need to list those as things you like to do. Now, if you dislike those things maybe mention it, but honestly I would stray away from the negative. Stick to the positive.

 

Dating App Profile Example To Attract Someone Who Suffers From General Anxiety Disorder

dating app profiles - captain america

I have not ever been shy about my struggles with general anxiety disorder, and in keeping with my transparency I have decided to share with you what I think would be the perfect dating app profile. When I look at profile I want to know what you are looking for and enough information about you that I can find out about you from a second and maybe even a tertiary source.

Yes, I just admitted to turning to Facebook or Google for further information, and I actually think that if someone says they didn’t Facebook creep you then they are lying. This is still the internet we are talking about people. You may see a profile and a picture and it may be an app that is set up to where you have to have a Facebook profile to join, but that doesn’t mean a whole lot. If you are talking to me through a dating app, you can guarantee that I’ve Google searched you. Judge me if you want, but I am not about to end up as a body that inspires an episode of Law and Order: SVU.

 

Like I tend to do anytime I write a post like this, I just want to reiterate that this is based on my personal experience and my opinions. I highly doubt that everyone has had the same experiences as I have and am in no way trying to speak for anyone other than myself.

What types of dating app profiles have you come across?

 

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